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Dear God

May 17, 2010
Dear God,

I would like to introduce you to the addict within me, Addy. She and I are not really seeing eye to eye lately. She has no manners at all and constantly harasses me. Lately she has been insulting my intelligence with her deceptions and insults. I try to ignore her but she is so persistent. For example, today she said that I was a failure. She says that everything I attempt fails including my sobriety. She says that I might as well go ahead and give in because it’s going to happen eventually anyway. She doesn’t believe I have the willpower to sustain this clean and sober life. I was hoping and praying that you would help me quiet her voice. In fact, it would be great if you could just press the mute button on her for a while. She is so loud that I cannot hear your voice anymore. I believe that you are still there even when I cannot hear you or feel you. I have prayed many prayers for you to please heal my body and eliminate her from my existence. I know I should not doubt you but it is so discouraging because sometimes I just feel like my prayers are not getting through. Would you please shine your grace upon me and override Addy’s desires with your own will for my life? Would you please allow me to feel your Holy spirit and guide my footsteps down the right path? I want to live a Christian life but I’m afraid Addy is the devil himself. So how do I live for you, God, when the devil is within me?

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