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Everything is Growing, Including the “List”

June 14, 2010

I was at my Dad’s farm today. Everything is growing. Corn, onions, beans, cabbage and cucumbers are all springing up from the ground as if they’ve grown overnight. The abundance of a garden is breathtaking and humbling. However, as quickly as this garden grows, so does the “list” of friends and acquaintances who have lost their life to addiction.

Yes, another precious human life has been stolen away by addiction. This time it was a brutal and senseless murder. All for the sake of a few pills. A woman in my community was literally beaten to death in her own home. The attacker(s) is unknown at the moment, but it should not be a difficult task to solve this murder. Simply follow the trail of pills.

Although I didn’t personally know this woman, I have had friendly and polite conversations with her many times. She was always a talker. I can close my eyes and still hear her voice and see her smiling face. The last time I saw her, she had lost a lot of weight and had the “look” of addiction. It broke my heart. My thoughts were, “no, not you too!” As rumors go, later I heard that she was in “it” bad. She was hanging with another well-known addict in the community and appearing more and more “dazed” in public. Now, she is dead.

How could this have happened? Why did this happen? How does someone get to the point that a pill is worth more than a human life? I want to say that I was never at that point. Yet, so many times during my addiction, I was desperate. Would I have killed for my drug? I don’t believe I would have. But the fact is, I was never in that situation. I was always successful in finding my drug without violence of any kind. Thank God. In retrospect, I could have easily been the one killed for the drugs in my own possession. This could have been me, beaten to death for a bottle of Oxycontin. Imagine what my burial would have been like for my family. Imagine losing your own son or daughter in such a brutal and drug-related way.

My prayer tonight is, “God rest her soul.” My tears tonight are both of sorrow and relief. Sorrow for the death of an addict and relief that I got out before it happened to me. If you or someone you know are in the grips of addiction, please get help before it’s too late. There is a better way to live. I promise. I pray this post is a “seed” planted in the garden of recovery.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. June 14, 2010 2:39 am

    I am so sorry to hear about this lady dying. Nothing good ever comes from addiction. I am so happy that you are alive and live to tell about your experiences. It helps me understand this mystery better and gives me hope for my girl.

    • June 14, 2010 9:15 am

      Thanks! You’re right that nothing good ever comes from addiction. It is the road to jails, institution and death. I pray daughter finds a new path soon.

  2. June 15, 2010 12:33 pm

    It is senseless. And heart breaking. It terrifies me, because I know that it could be my daughter. When I think of that I wonder how I could ever go on. My heart weeps for this woman’s family.
    I’m glad that you are no longer in addiction’s deathly grip. Thank you for all your comments on my blog. As Helga says it helps us to understand and your recovery gives us all hope for our children.

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